Toddler night screaming got you up? Here’s how we solved it in a week!

A mom recently asked

My son is 2.5 years old. Every night, he would wake up in the middle of the night just screaming top of his lungs. Looking for his siblings, his dad, me, grandma. He would do this for about half an hour and had been going on for about 4 months now. I don’t know what the heck to do to get him to sleep through the night. I have a day job, as well as side hustle like tonight, was packing orders with one hand because he won’t go back to bed or stop crying 😭. So I’d just snuggle him but doesn’t do much. Your toddler do this too?

Here was my advice.

When my child would wake up screaming in the night, I first would calm them and put them back to bed. Night time is not a wise time to try to speak to a child. They’re tired and won’t be reasonable. But the next day, we had a serious talk, during the day.

I explained that the right amount of healthy sleep is needed for healthy brains. The problem is, mommy and daddy can be cranky the next day if they don’t get the right amount of sleep. Screaming in the night is not okay because it disturbs others’ sleep.

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Then I made a super simple hand-drawn sign, laminated it, and stuck it on the wall with some painter’s tape. I said “it’s okay to scream out if there is an emergency. An emergency is a fire or if you need to go to the hospital.” I also asked them to point out which was a fire and which was needing the hospital, so I knew they understood what I was talking about.

I also explained that it is SO important that they get the right amount of sleep for their brain to grow and mommy is here to help teach them.

If they woke in the night screaming, I would go in and ask them if there is a fire or if they had to go to the hospital. And when they say no and I say “screaming is not okay if it is not an emergency.” Hug, kiss, and back to bed (I sing a song too)

It took 4 days of consistency and then the screaming in the night stopped. They finally understood when it was okay to scream and when it was not. 4 days is worth the investment of healthy sleep habits for a lifetime.

Good sleep habits are not a child’s choice, but a parental decision.

I should also note that I promote healthy sleep habits in our home by keeping the room dark with blackout roller shades and using a white noise machine. I also keep the rooms screen-free and do not allow any flashlights or nightlights in the room. Yes, my kids fuss about it but then they fall asleep and they stay asleep. Children will wake throughout the night, just like adults do. They need to learn to soothe themselves back to sleep. If a light is on, their bodies will start to wake. Best to keep it dark for sleep time to help your child stay asleep.

Also, many children respond well to using sticker charts to track progress. While I don’t think it’s a good idea to give rewards for “good sleepers”, I do like to put a good sleeper chart with some stickers in my child’s room. I explain that they may put one sticker on the chart for every morning they wake up feeling rested and had a good sleep. Some days no sticker is on the chart and that’s okay. I don’t monitor the chart too closely, they do it all on their own! But being proud of them is always recommended!

According to Dr. Gary Ezzo, “Children are consistently more self-assured, happier, less demanding, and more sociable, inspired, and motivated. They have longer attention spans and become faster learners because they are more adaptable” when they have established healthy sleep habits.

I would consider myself a no-nonsense parent, so my approach won’t be a good fit for everyone. Healthy sleep habits are so important to me and my family. How did this approach work for you? Think I’m crazy? Too soft? Let me know in the comments below!

So now it’s your turn! If you try this, tag me at @goldengluegun

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